There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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