I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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