She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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