Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
