Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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