I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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