I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
