drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
