Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
