oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
