If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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