And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
my being single is dangerous.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
