i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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