I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
