I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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