The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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