She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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