Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
