Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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