So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
