He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
