I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
