This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
