Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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