Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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