ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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