Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
