so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
