Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
