i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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