Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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