Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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