I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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