dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
