Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
