just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
