It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
