Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
