Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
