OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
