its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
