This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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