You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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