why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
