Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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