Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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