I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
