Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm at about main and main street
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
