walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
