i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
