office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Randomize
