They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
