He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
